The Truth
by Ashton09
Summary: The one person Kara should trust with everything she is, is also the one person she cannot be honest with without risking everything. For Supercat Week Day 4- Soulmate AU


"So, my 10:15, why are you so special?" Those were the words that had changed Kara's life. At the time she'd wondered if they should have been more profound somehow, but later she'll realize that they were exactly right.

"Why are you so special?" Cat had asked, distracted yet completely focused in that way only she can pull off, and Kara had been lost.

"I'm not. Special, I'm not special," she'd stammered out, all of her carefully crafted words abandoning her in a second leaving only her deepest insecurities to surface. Ones she'd never admitted to anyone, not even Alex. And from there she'd been stuck, rambling on, trying to seem as if admitting that had been her plan all along, thankfully finding a segue into what she knows she can accomplish if given the chance. It seems to work, and despite the panic in Kara's mind, she walks out of the room with a job. One she's fairly certain she shouldn't have taken after all, but making any other choice is beyond even her ability.

Kara has the job she wanted, with a welcome yet uncomfortable addition. She's the executive assistant to the most powerful woman in National City, the woman who had challenged and overcome every obstacle in her path. Kara has admired her for years, had long decided that if she couldn't follow her cousin's footsteps she could make a difference by following Cat's example instead. It's why she'd applied for the job, despite not expecting to get it. And then she did.

And now she has to spend every day with Cat Grant. Her soulmate. Her soulmate that she can't lie to.

Before landing on Earth, Kara had looked forward to meeting the person she would share everything with, to finding that depth of connection with someone. Hiding the truth was highly frowned upon on Krypton, but that didn't mean it wasn't done. The ruling council's betrayal of the planet stings that much more when Kara realizes they'd been lying her entire life, but beyond that little things were accepted in everyday life and existed mostly without comment.

But a soulmate was different, because you couldn't hide from them. Little untruths were impossible, if you tried the truth would come out anyway. It's why Kara had admitted she was nothing special, because despite her powers she's done nothing to claim that distinction. She's just another body on Earth right now, her potential effectively meaningless. She'd been intending to paint her achievements in the best possible light, the way Alex always does, but deep down she knows they're average at best. She's never been outstanding on Earth, and her achievements from Krypton are worth less than the dust of her planet now.

Kara had wanted that connection more than anything on Krypton, but on Earth she'd learned to fear the possibility. When her entire life began to circle around a complete lie, how could she not be afraid of finding the person who could tear it down in a moment? Eventually she'd begun to hope her soulmate had perished with her home, knowing it was probably the truth. And the day she'd hoped her soulmate was gone rather than hoping she would one day be happy had been the end of her happiness.

Oh, she was just as enraptured with Earth as she'd been before, with how different everything was to the dusty reds of her planet. How different the society was, how differently people interacted. Krypton was a reserved planet and society, and the sheer joy of laughing aloud in public without fear of censure was hard to deny. Here she could run, and jump, and laugh as much as she wanted, all without fear of disgracing her House.

But every smile, every moment of joy, was matched by the knowledge of all she'd lost. Her home had been destroyed before her eyes, but Kara had done her best to look forward, and that had helped. Then she'd realized the future she'd longed for was gone as well, and that had been too much. The smiles became shallow, sometimes fake, the laughs became momentary distractions.

Eventually things had evened out, and Kara learned to be content in this new world, with her new life. She learned to take pride in her work, even as she knew she could do more. She learned to accept her life and the challenges it brought, and appreciate the opportunities she still had. She decided to do what she could to make a difference in the world, and started moving forward instead of dwelling on the past. And until that fateful morning, standing in front of Cat Grant, things had been fine.

X

Despite knowing it's a bad idea, probably the worst idea Kara's ever had, she doesn't change her mind about taking the job. She doesn't tell Alex about what had happened in the interview, knowing her sister will insist Kara walk away, and that she will give in. She wants this, risk and all, even if she can never truly have it. The crumbs of a future she'd thought gone are enough.

And it's not as bad as it could be, Cat Grant is far more comfortable with telling than asking. Her questions are few and far between, and most deal exclusively with CatCo. Personal moments are few and far between, often when Cat is particularly tired or overwhelmed and Kara steps in to help in the near invisible way she's perfected. And even those are mostly Cat talking at her rather than any kind of back and forth conversation.

The few times Cat asks a question Kara doesn't want to answer completely, she realizes she can deflect without actually answering. It's not dishonest and so she can manage the words, and after the first time Kara manages it she relaxes slightly. If she can deflect, can keep things between them on this level, then her secret is safe. Cat will never think to ask if she's an alien from lightyears away, so Kara doesn't have to worry. And as for asking Cat anything the woman wouldn't want to answer, Kara would never dream of that. It would be too personal, far too much for what's between the two of them. And if Kara never asks, then Cat will never know they are soulmates. Nothing will happen between them, and Kara will be safe.

And then she saves the plane.

Kara had known it was a risk, that it will expose her existence if not her identity. She'd known it would change everything. And still she'd flown to the rescue, refusing to let her sister be the cost of her own safety.

And once she's saved the plane, Kara can't go back to hiding who she is, not when she can do so much good in the world. When she'd been a child, new to Earth, it had been one thing. She'd risked not only herself but her new family, and it had been too much. Now she's an adult, and with care no one will ever know who she is. It's a risk, but it's hers and hers alone, and Kara thinks it's worth it.

She hadn't been anticipating Cat's demands for an interview, though in retrospect she really should have. Two years as the woman's assistant mean she knows how her mind works, and this is exactly what she should have expected. And even though Alex has accepted her decision to keep saving lives, Kara knows this will be too far. She has too many secrets to keep, cannot agree to an interview with a woman she cannot lie to.

Except she does.

Kara tries to keep her secrets, she really does. She even mostly succeeds. But sometimes deflections are too close to lies, and the truth slips out without permission. Little things, but more than Kara had wanted to reveal. And as expected, Alex isn't happy with that.

"Why did you tell her you were Superman's cousin?" Alex asks as soon as they're in private, and Kara hates that she's brought this stress on her sister.

"It just kind of slipped out," she admits, hoping they can leave it at that. It's well documented that Kara can be terrible at keeping secrets under pressure.

"And that you hadn't come out before this because your family wanted you to hide who you are?" Alex sounds hurt at that one, and Kara hates that as well. She understands, she does. She knows what her presence has cost her family, what they've sacrificed to help her. Alex has given up any chance of a normal life for her sake, and Kara can never repay that. Eliza and Jeremiah had opened their homes to a strange child, worked to help her understand her new world, spent hours and years helping her adjust. But they'd wanted her to hide, and for years that had felt like a betrayal of who she could be, no matter how she'd tried to bury that feeling.

"I didn't mean to," Kara says with a shrug, trying to play it off. She'd meant to say she wasn't ready, but she'd been ready for years. Not prepared, her recent mistakes prove that, but from the time she'd saved the woman and child from a burning car she'd wanted to be out in the world, protecting it from harm.

"And that little detail about your freeze breath?" That one gets a wince, she'd intended to deflect with a 'practice makes perfect' quip and ended up admitting that the years of hiding had some of her skills rusty. Cat had at least phrased it in a way less likely to have every threat coming their way, but it still sounded damning to someone who knows the truth.

"It just sort of came out wrong," Kara tries, making it sound like she'd stumbled over her words. Of course, Alex knows her too well for that to work, and the look of horror dawning on her sister's face lets Kara know yet another of her secrets is out.

"Oh my God, Kara. Tell me I'm misunderstanding what you're saying, please. Please tell me you could lie to Cat Grant if she asked you who you really are." Alex is pleading, desperately hoping that Kara will tell her there's nothing to worry about, and Kara wishes she could do that. But even if she's capable of lying to Alex, she never will.

"I don't have to answer," is what she says instead of what Alex is hoping to hear, already bracing herself for the reaction.

"How the hell do you manage to work for the one person who could destroy your life? And why does that person have to be your soulmate?" It's a more reserved reaction than Kara had been expecting, and she knows it's entirely because Alex doesn't want to hurt her the way she had after the plane.

"It's not that big a deal," Kara says softly, even though it _is_. "She doesn't know, and it's okay. I can deflect. Next time she sees Supergirl I'll start off by telling her I simply won't answer certain questions. I don't have to tell her the truth, I just can't lie to her."

"You shouldn't meet her as Supergirl again," Alex tries to insist, but Kara just shakes her head.

"You and I both know it's going to happen. I can try to avoid it, but she's decided Supergirl and CatCo are tied to each other, and I don't think anything is going to change her mind. If I don't meet with her, I'll have no control over the story." Kara doesn't think Cat would ever do anything to hurt or weaken her, but she can't promise to stay completely away.

"Then you should quit. It's weird enough that you're working as your soulmate's assistant, even without adding the risk she'll recognize you." Alex is obviously trying to come up with solutions, but Kara doesn't want them. She's happy where she is.

"I'm not quitting. Weird or no, I knew what I was getting into going in. And I like working there. It keeps me grounded, gives me something normal in my life." Kara won't budge on that, not even if Alex tries to drag her screaming from the room. Which given her powers, wouldn't be an effective attempt in any case.

"Then just be careful" Alex says with a sigh before pulling her into a hug. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't," Kara promises, hoping it's the truth.

X

Cat figures it out something is up eventually, of course. Kara can only save her life so many times before the woman gets suspicious. And a suspicious Cat Grant is a determined Cat Grant. No stone is safe when she decides to get answers, not just turned but bulldozed out of the way.

"Why do you keep saving me?" she asks one night after Kara flies them back to the safety of her office balcony, a look on her face that tells Kara she won't be satisfied with the usual non answers tonight. "For someone you barely know, you're very willing to throw yourself into danger on my behalf."

Kara thinks about the years learning everything there is to know about the woman in front of her, the secrets she's been entrusted with, the glimpses of a softer woman that occasionally peek through the hard exterior. She thinks about the bond between their souls, about the hope she still holds that somehow things could work between them despite knowing there's no chance. She thinks about all the things she could say, the secrets she could reveal to finally stand before her soulmate with nothing between them.

"You're important to me," is all she ends up saying, the truth but not the whole truth. The rest of the words freeze on her tongue, a voice in her mind that sounds like Alex urging caution. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"But why am I so important to you?" Cat presses, not satisfied to leave it at that. And Kara can't answer that one without giving everything away, so she stands silent, just looking at the other woman. "Why won't you answer me?" she asks when several minutes have passed, sounding puzzled and a little hurt.

"I'm afraid of the answers," Kara says without thinking, the truth slipping out before she can stop it.

"Do you think I would ever hurt you?" Cat asks in surprise, and Kara instantly shakes her head.

"I know you wouldn't. But I also know you could." She should fly off right now, Kara knows that. This situation is more dangerous than the threat they've left behind, and the smart thing to do would be retreat. So of course Kara stays.

"You're bulletproof, how could I ever hurt you?" Cat asks softly, something in the face shifting as Kara continues to stare at her. And suddenly, Kara can't stand it any longer. She needs Cat to know, to understand, and damn the consequences. The continued hiding is too much like a lie, and she can't do it any more.

"Why did you leave Carter's father?" she asks instead of answering, not wanting to ask anything too personal when Cat won't be expecting her inability to lie. She already knows the answer as Kara, so she isn't forcing Cat into revealing anything too deep, but needing the woman to understand why Kara would be scared of her questions.

"Between CatCo and my son I didn't have much time for him, and when he decided that meant he should look elsewhere for what he wanted, I wouldn't accept sharing his attention with whatever woman he was with that week," Cat says, a look of shock and fear crossing her face when she realizes what she'd said. Kara knows she'd probably intended to ask what that had to do with anything instead of answering, but the words had just flowed out of her.

"I'm sorry," Kara apologizes instantly, remembering how overwhelming it had been to realize what had happened, who she'd just met. "I just wanted you to understand. I can leave now, if you want me to."

"Don't you dare," Cat says instantly, taking a small step closer. "You don't get to drop that bombshell and then fly off on me."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Kara says, forcing herself to stay in place and not move away. The situation is completely out of her control, but she's happy that this is at last out in the open.

"I'll tell you if that happens," Cat promises evenly, not giving anything away from her voice. "I can see why you would be scared of my questions now, obviously. It's a decidedly unwelcome sensation, being unable to hide what you want."

"I never wanted to hide from you," Kara says softly, feeling the truth even as she says it. "I don't want to hide from you."

"But you're protecting yourself," Cat finishes the thought, understanding clear on her face. "I can't imagine it's particularly comforting, knowing that the one person you can't lie to is also the one person whose job it is to tell the world what she can of your existence."

"It's not. But I'm tired of hiding." She is, desperately so. Kara knows that if Cat were to ask her in that moment who she really is, she wouldn't hesitate to answer completely. She's almost ready to admit it anyway, but fear of rejection holds her tongue.

"You have to hide anyway," Cat says softly, not pushing in any way. "If you wanted to tell me, you would have already. There are reasons you haven't, and I assume they're good ones. And as much as I want answers, I can't ask you for them."

"I do want to tell you, I do trust you," Kara says, knowing the fact that she can utter those words will be enough to prove their sincerity, hopefully will be enough that Cat truly believes them. "But there are reasons I can't take the risk right now." That's the truth too, there are many, many reasons she shouldn't say anything, enough that unless Cat asks the secrets will remain unspoken.

"Then don't." The agreement is instantaneous, and Kara feels herself relax and the amount of understanding the words contain. "I trust you as well, and if things change I believe you will tell me. And for now, with your permission, I think I should find an alternate reporter for any future interviews you're willing to give. Someone I trust completely, of course. I won't lose CatCo's edge, but I won't risk my journalistic integrity or your safety by insisting I be the one you talk to."

"Thank you," Kara says with a smile, recognizing the gesture for what it is. It's a first step, a sign of understanding and acceptance that Kara greatly appreciates.

Hopefully it's the first step of many.

X

It's strangely difficult to go to work the following morning, even knowing Cat hasn't recognized her yet. Now that she knows about her connection to Supergirl, it's only a matter of time before the truth comes out, and Kara knows it. And against all reasoning, she looks forward to that day.

It's even harder when nothing changes, Cat treating her exactly the same as she had before. Kara knows she should be glad, but it just makes her resent the secrecy more. She longs for a return of the honesty of her home planet, of a time when she didn't have to live a lie. She's done it for so long she should be used to it, but it never feels right.

Eventually she gets used to the added discomfort, even if it still grates on her. She's two people to everyone in her life save Alex, and for now that's just how it has to be. She can wish Cat saw all of her, but it isn't safe for either of them yet, and there are still too many reasons to stay hidden.

The times she visits Cat as Supergirl are enough, neither willing to push things forward when there are secrets between them, but neither able to stay away. They're careful to avoid questions, letting the other share what they want without risk of accidentally revealing more. Those nights quickly become her favorite times, and Kara almost thinks it would be enough.

And then she almost loses Cat.

It's not even an attack, it's an accident of fate. The symphony Cat is attending suffers electrical failure, and a spark from the short starts a fire between Cat and the exit. Sheer bad luck and timing, and if Kara were just slightly slower or had been a little farther away when she heard the sirens things would have ended far differently. And that's enough to make every reason against being honest and moving forward seem meaningless. There might be risks to being honest, but none can compare to the risk of losing everything before they even have a chance to be something.

Kara flies them to Cat's balcony as soon as she's sure the other woman is okay, needing the privacy and contact to convince her she hadn't lost everything. Of all the times Cat has been in danger, something about tonight hits far too hard to ignore, and Kara doesn't want to even try. She needs the woman in front of her more than anything else, and she's done being scared.

"I'm done hiding," Kara says as soon as they land, determination clear in her voice as she speaks. "We've danced around the truth for months, and I don't want to any more. Hiding from you feels too much like a lie I shouldn't be able to tell."

"You need to be sure," Cat tries, though Kara can see the hopeful look on her face. "You can't decide because of tonight's emotions. You can't regret your decision."

"The only thing I will regret is not telling you sooner," Kara responds, knowing that she will mean the words just as much tomorrow, and the day after, and for however many days come after that. "You deserve to know, and we deserve to not have the secret between us." She waits for Cat's nod of agreement before speaking, needing them to be on the same page. "I should have told you years ago. My name is Kara Zor-El, last daughter of Krypton and the House of El, and soulmate of Catherine Grant." The words are formal, taken from the pledge ceremony on Krypton, but the emotions are clear in every word and in her face.

"Thank you," Cat whispers before stepping into Kara's arms, pulling her close. "Thank you for finally telling me."

"You're not surprised," Kara realizes, arms tightening around her soulmate as she lets herself finally feel the contact between them rather than holding back.

"Of course I'm not, I've known for months. How could I not see it, knowing what I know about who you are? I see you, Kara, know more about you than I thought I'd ever know about another person." Cat is smiling into the embrace, Kara can feel it against her neck.

"But nothing changed at work," she says, not sure how to ask the obvious question.

"You weren't ready for it to," Cat responds instantly, and Kara relaxes a little. "And some things changed, as soon as I realized. Josh has been doing your reviews, I've just been presenting them. I told him I was too busy to bother, and he owed me a favor. Kendall is in charge of your career track should you ever seek a promotion, I told her I didn't think I could be objective when you're the only assistant who's managed to get my drinks right each time I ask." The sheer amount of thought and planning both those things represent almost staggers Kara, but super strength comes in handy at the more random of times.

"You're serious about this," she whispers, letting herself hope that she isn't alone.

"I am," Cat agrees, pulling back just enough to meet Kara's eyes. "It won't be easy, but if you're ready to step forward, then I'm not going to follow behind. I prefer to lead, you know that."

"What about together?" Kara asks softly, already knowing the answer.

"I can do together."


End file.
